As I wrote the title to this post, I smiled. Yes I am struggling with anger, and therein lies my solution!
I am in a battle with myself. It’s me against me. Sometimes it feels like I can’t win, and sometimes it feels like I can’t lose.
I get to choose…. But obviously I am not ready yet…
Dan’s former spouse, the mother of his children, went to Costa Rica for a week and crafted an elaborate schedule for the care of his children. The plan involves teachers and neighbors and grandparents… Instead of their father. And she did not share the plan or share that she was leaving the country.
The children do not understand her choices, and they want to protect her. They are walking a fine line, and their confusion is palpable.
My anger swells up like a big balloon threatening to pop and splatter all over my home.
I cannot fix this. I cannot make their mother
do things right do things the way I would be different. So I wait for the moment when I can feel the underlying sadness… The mourning for what is not. Because then I will get to the beauty of what is. It’s all there waiting for me. I’m just not ready.